親友 N君 My Close Friend, N.

 親友　N君

　N君の見舞いに行ってきた。N君は大学一年生の時、英会話の座席が私の前だったので親しくなった。６０年以上の付き合いだ。

大垣の実家に来てもらったり、彼の家に遊びに行ったりした。大学のISA（国際学生協会）という英語部に二人とも所属しており、部活動を共にした。私の結婚式にも来てもらった。卒業後もISAの同窓会で会ったり、個人的に年に二回ぐらい栄で会って飯を食べた。母の葬式には大垣に来てくれた。

短気だが、実行力があり、意見をはっきり言った。友人思いで、T君が奥さんを失くした時、埼玉県まで行って友人を元気づけた。

今日見舞いに行って悲しかった。「N、松岡や。分かるか？」と言っても、眼が虚ろで、身体を横向きにしてテレビを眺めているだけ。奥さんが「松岡さんが来たよ」と言っても、頷くように首を振ったようだったが、私の目を見ようとしなかった。そう言えば３０分の見舞い中、彼は私を見なかった……。食事もできない。点滴で栄養を取っているらしい。尿はカテーテルで取っている。ベッドから下りられない。車椅子にも乗れない。

人間、ああなってしまうのか。俺はまだ元気だ。俺も今の内だ。何事も。

 

My Close Friend, N

I went to a hospital to see N today. I first became close to him in our first year of university, as his seat was right in front of me in our English conversation class. We’ve known each other for more than sixty years.

He came to my home in Ōgaki, and I visited his home as well. We both belonged to the English club, ISA (the International Student Association), and spent our club days together. He came to my wedding.

After graduation, we continued to meet at ISA reunions, and privately, we would get together for a meal in Sakae about twice a year. When my mother passed away, he came all the way to Ōgaki for the funeral.

He had a short temper, but he got things done and always spoke his mind. He cared deeply for his friends. When T lost his wife, N went all the way to Saitama to cheer him up.

It was painful to visit him today. I said, “N, this is Matsuoka. Do you recognize me?” but his eyes were vacant, and he just lay on his side staring at the TV. Even when his wife said, “Matsuoka-san is here,” he seemed to nod slightly, but he didn’t try to look at me. Come to think of it, during the whole thirty minutes I was there, he never once looked at me. He can’t eat anymore. He’s receiving nutrition through an intravenous line. His urine is taken through a catheter. He can’t get out of bed. He can’t even sit in a wheelchair.

Is this what becomes of us humans? I’m still healthy now. I suppose I have to make the most of the time I have left, whatever it is.