親友逝去 My Close Friend Passed Away

 親友逝去

 　親友のN君が1月２２日に亡くなった。N君の奥様からメッセージが来ていたのに見ていなかった。見たのは２４日の二時頃であった。既に通夜も葬儀も終わっていることに愕然とし、とにかく葬儀場に駆けつけようと思った。喪服を着て、香典を用意するときに、気が動転して、香典の袋を用意する手が震え、自分が自分でないようであった。

葬儀場は地下鉄桜通線の太閤通駅のそばにある愛昇殿であった。奥様にメッセージを送ると「今、火葬場にいる。三時半頃、初七日のお経がある」との返信。

　初七日ではN君の笑顔の遺影が据えられ、読経が始まった。ご焼香が始まり、私は親族ではないが、最後にご焼香することができた。焼香するため祭壇の前に立つと、どうしようもなく涙が込み溢れて来て、身体が震え、まともに焼香できなかった。

　あれから一週間たった。毎日N君のことを思い出している。

もう永遠に会えないのか。

 

My Close Friend Passed Away

My close friend N passed away on January 22. A message from his wife had come to me, but I hadn’t seen it. I noticed it around two o’clock on the 24th. I was stunned to learn that both the wake and the funeral had already ended. All I could think was that I had to get to the funeral hall somehow. As I put on my mourning clothes and prepared the condolence money envelope, I was so shocked that my hands trembled while preparing the envelope. I felt as if I were no longer myself.

The funeral hall was Aishōden, near Taikō-dōri Station on the Sakura-dōri subway line. When I sent a message to his wife, she replied, “We’re at the crematorium now. Around three-thirty, there will be the service for the shonanoka or the seventh day.”

At the shonanoka service, N’s smiling portrait was placed at the front, and the sutra chanting began. When the incense offering started, I was allowed to offer incense at the very end, even though I was not a family member. Standing before the altar to offer incense, I was suddenly overwhelmed by tears. My body shook, and I couldn’t perform the incense offering properly.

Not a single day has passed without thinking of N. How sad it is that I will never see him again.