親友逝去 My Close Friend Passed Away

 親友逝去

 　親友のN君が1月２２日に亡くなった。N君の奥様からメッセージが来ていたのに見ていなかった。見たのは２４日の二時頃であった。既に通夜も葬儀も終わっていることに愕然とし、とにかく葬儀場に駆けつけようと思った。喪服を着て、香典を用意するときに、気が動転して、香典の袋を用意する手が震え、自分が自分でないようであった。

葬儀場は地下鉄桜通線の太閤通駅のそばにある愛昇殿であった。奥様にメッセージを送ると「今、火葬場にいる。三時半頃、初七日のお経がある」との返信。

　初七日ではN君の笑顔の遺影が据えられ、読経が始まった。ご焼香が始まり、私は親族ではないが、最後にご焼香することができた。焼香するため祭壇の前に立つと、どうしようもなく涙が込み溢れて来て、身体が震え、まともに焼香できなかった。

　あれから一週間たった。毎日N君のことを思い出している。

もう永遠に会えないのか。

 

My Close Friend Passed Away

My close friend N passed away on January 22. A message from his wife had come to me, but I hadn’t seen it. I noticed it around two o’clock on the 24th. I was stunned to learn that both the wake and the funeral had already ended. All I could think was that I had to get to the funeral hall somehow. As I put on my mourning clothes and prepared the condolence money envelope, I was so shocked that my hands trembled while preparing the envelope. I felt as if I were no longer myself.

The funeral hall was Aishōden, near Taikō-dōri Station on the Sakura-dōri subway line. When I sent a message to his wife, she replied, “We’re at the crematorium now. Around three-thirty, there will be the service for the shonanoka or the seventh day.”

At the shonanoka service, N’s smiling portrait was placed at the front, and the sutra chanting began. When the incense offering started, I was allowed to offer incense at the very end, even though I was not a family member. Standing before the altar to offer incense, I was suddenly overwhelmed by tears. My body shook, and I couldn’t perform the incense offering properly.

Not a single day has passed without thinking of N. How sad it is that I will never see him again.

親友 N君 My Close Friend, N.

 親友　N君

　N君の見舞いに行ってきた。N君は大学一年生の時、英会話の座席が私の前だったので親しくなった。６０年以上の付き合いだ。

大垣の実家に来てもらったり、彼の家に遊びに行ったりした。大学のISA（国際学生協会）という英語部に二人とも所属しており、部活動を共にした。私の結婚式にも来てもらった。卒業後もISAの同窓会で会ったり、個人的に年に二回ぐらい栄で会って飯を食べた。母の葬式には大垣に来てくれた。

短気だが、実行力があり、意見をはっきり言った。友人思いで、T君が奥さんを失くした時、埼玉県まで行って友人を元気づけた。

今日見舞いに行って悲しかった。「N、松岡や。分かるか？」と言っても、眼が虚ろで、身体を横向きにしてテレビを眺めているだけ。奥さんが「松岡さんが来たよ」と言っても、頷くように首を振ったようだったが、私の目を見ようとしなかった。そう言えば３０分の見舞い中、彼は私を見なかった……。食事もできない。点滴で栄養を取っているらしい。尿はカテーテルで取っている。ベッドから下りられない。車椅子にも乗れない。

人間、ああなってしまうのか。俺はまだ元気だ。俺も今の内だ。何事も。

 

My Close Friend, N

I went to a hospital to see N today. I first became close to him in our first year of university, as his seat was right in front of me in our English conversation class. We’ve known each other for more than sixty years.

He came to my home in Ōgaki, and I visited his home as well. We both belonged to the English club, ISA (the International Student Association), and spent our club days together. He came to my wedding.

After graduation, we continued to meet at ISA reunions, and privately, we would get together for a meal in Sakae about twice a year. When my mother passed away, he came all the way to Ōgaki for the funeral.

He had a short temper, but he got things done and always spoke his mind. He cared deeply for his friends. When T lost his wife, N went all the way to Saitama to cheer him up.

It was painful to visit him today. I said, “N, this is Matsuoka. Do you recognize me?” but his eyes were vacant, and he just lay on his side staring at the TV. Even when his wife said, “Matsuoka-san is here,” he seemed to nod slightly, but he didn’t try to look at me. Come to think of it, during the whole thirty minutes I was there, he never once looked at me. He can’t eat anymore. He’s receiving nutrition through an intravenous line. His urine is taken through a catheter. He can’t get out of bed. He can’t even sit in a wheelchair.

Is this what becomes of us humans? I’m still healthy now. I suppose I have to make the most of the time I have left, whatever it is.

国宝 National Treasure

 国宝

    興行成績トップクラスの映画『国宝』を見て来た。前半は良かったが後半は面白くなく、だらだらと話が続く、何処で終わらせるか、監督も困ったようで、早く終わらないかと思った。

　歌舞伎役者の跡取り（俊介）と血筋のない余所者（喜久雄）の悲劇を扱っている。跡取りは血筋に頼り、芸を磨かない。余所者は芸を磨いて名を上げるしかない。

半二郎を余所者に襲名させるところから話は面白くなる。二人それぞれの葛藤を描いているが、クライマックスがない。

無理に事件を起こしている。花井半二郎が交通事故で舞台に立てなくなる。白虎襲名披露の時に血を吐く。俊介が道成寺で足が動かなくなる。義足で「曽根崎心中」を熱演する。一つ一つのエピソードは引き付けるが、結局、全体として何なのか。盛り上がりとカタルシスがない。歌舞伎の見せ場を寄せ集めているから、「歌舞伎への招待」のような映画だ。

 二人の若い俳優は道成寺や藤娘を踊る。素人にしては女形踊りが様になっている。特に、『曽根崎心中』で、「証拠なければ理もたたず。此上は徳さまも、死なねばならぬ品なるが、死ぬる覚悟が聞きたい」の台詞は上出来。

 吉田修一の原作を脚色し過ぎたか。 

---

National Treasure

I went to see National Treasure, a film that ranks among the top box-office hits. The first half was good, but the second half dragged on without being interesting. The story meandered, and even the director seemed unsure of where to end it—I found myself wishing it would finish sooner.

The film deals with the tragedy of a kabuki heir, Shunsuke, and an outsider without lineage, Kikuo . The heir relies on bloodline and neglects to refine his art, while the outsider has no choice but to polish his craft and earn recognition.

The story becomes engaging once the outsider is given the stage name Hanjiro. It depicts the struggles of both men, but there is no real climax. Events are forced: Hanjiro is injured in a traffic accident and can no longer perform; during the Byakko name-taking ceremony, he coughs up blood; Hanjiro’s son loses the use of his legs while performing Dōjōji; he later gives a passionate performance of The Love Suicides at Sonezaki with a prosthetic leg. Each episode is compelling on its own, but taken together, what does it amount to? There is no build-up, no catharsis. Because it strings together a series of kabuki highlights, the film feels almost like an “Invitation to Kabuki.”

Two young actors dance Dōjōji and Fuji Musume. For amateurs, their onnagata dancing is surprisingly convincing. In particular, in The Love Suicides at Sonezaki, the line:

“Without proof, reason cannot stand. As things have come to this, Tokusama too must die — but I would hear your resolve to die.”

is delivered remarkably well.

Perhaps the adaptation strayed too far from Shuichi Yoshida’s original novel.

 

最後の歌 The Last Song

最後の歌 

1945年3月21日、日本は大砲も航空機も軍艦も不足する中、必死にアメリカと戦っていた。敗戦は明らかであったが、公の場でそれを口にすることは禁忌とされていた。

45歳の日本人歌手・淡谷のり子は、九州の知覧飛行場にある食堂の舞台で、約30人の若い兵士たちの前で「別れのブルース」を歌っていた。

歌う前、責任者の男が言った。

「申し訳ないですが、歌っている途中で、何人かは席を立たねばなりません」 

「かまいませんよ」と彼女は答えた。

歌い始めると、やがて10人ほどの若い兵士が静かに立ち上がり、彼女に敬礼して一人、また一人と去っていった。

歌い終えた後、男は言った。

「ありがとう。皆、あなたの歌を聴けて喜んでいました。あなたの歌が、彼らの人生で最後に聴く歌でした」

「最後の歌？　どうしてですか？」と淡谷が尋ねた。

「彼らは全員、特攻隊員です。今まさに飛び立つところです」

吃驚して、彼女は窓へ駆け寄って見ると、数機の爆撃機が次々と高度を上げていました。彼女はその場に崩れ落ち、涙が止まらなかった。

 

何んと悲しい話ではないか

   

The Last Song

      It was March 21, 1945, when Japan was desperately fighting against the United States despite of lack of artillery, aircrafts, or warships. It was obvious that Japan would lose the war, but it was a taboo to say so in public.

A 45-year-old Japanese singer Awaya Noriko was singing, “Farewell Blues” in front of about 30 young soldiers at a restaurant stage in Chiran Airport in Kyushu, the southernmost island in Japan.

Before she sang, the man in charge said, “I’m sorry to say that some of them must leave while you are singing.”

“That’s no problem,” she replied.

She began to sing. Soon about 10 young soldiers quietly stood, saluted to her, and left one after another.

After she sang the song, the man said, “Thank you. Everyone of them was happy to hear your song. That was their last song to hear in their lives.”

“Last song? Why?” Awaya asked.

“Because they are all Kamikaze pilot. They are just about to fly.”

Shocked, she rushed to the window to see several bombers climbing higher and higher. She collapsed and couldn’t stop crying. 

What a pitiful scene!

尿が出ない Unable to Urinate

 尿が出ない　

　11月２２日（土）、朝から逼迫尿意。トイレに行っても尿が一滴も出ない。風呂に入ると尿の出が良くなるので、豊田線「浄心」にある龍泉寺温泉に行き、湯上りに瓶ビールを一本飲んだ。

午前中にコーヒーを飲み、昼飯に汁物や茶を飲んだから、膀胱に尿が溜まっているはず。でも、一滴も出ない。

帰宅後、晩飯を食べて、十九時頃Chat GPTで「尿が出ない、どうすべきか」と尋ねたら、「救急車で病院に行くべし。放置すると、膀胱が損傷する。腎臓に負担がかかる。血圧上昇。感染症のリスクあり」と返事。

女房の運転で、聖霊病院の救急外来に２１時頃に着いた。医者が尿道に管を入れようとした。なかなか入らない。何度も失敗し、ついに聖霊病院ではお手上げ。

夜中の２２時頃、市大病院に行った。医者が上手く管（カテーテル）を尿道に挿入し、尿を出してくれた。約１２００ｃｃ（大きなペットボトル満タン）あった。逼迫尿意は消え、気分が、すこぶる良くなった。

女房の運転で帰宅したのは２３：４０頃。

カテーテルを着けたまま寝たが、午前三時頃、パンツが、べたべたするので見てみると、パンツもパジャマも毛布も敷布も血だらけ。血尿だ。血だらけのパンツとパジャマは処分して、着替えた。

翌朝、敷布と毛布に付いた血を洗った。

　翌朝（２３日）９：３０頃、市大病院で診察。膀胱洗浄。止血剤。カテーテルを着けた不自由な生活。

　２８日（金）９：１５　聖霊病院で診察。カテーテルは取らずに１２月朔日に取る。

Unable to Urinate

From the morning on November 22 (Saturday), I felt an urgent need to urinate, but even when I went to the toilet, not a single drop came out. Since bathing usually improves my urine flow, I went to Ryusenji Onsen at Jōshin on the Toyota Line, and after bathing I drank a bottle of beer.

I had coffee in the morning, and with lunch I drank soup and tea, so my bladder should have been full. Yet still, not a single drop came out.

After returning home and eating dinner, around 7 p.m. I asked ChatGPT, “I can’t urinate, what should I do?” The reply was: “You should go to the hospital by ambulance. If left untreated, the bladder may be damaged, the kidneys will be strained, blood pressure will rise, and there is a risk of infection.”

My wife drove me to Seirei Hospital’s emergency department, arriving around 9 p.m. The doctor tried to insert a tube into my urethra, but it wouldn’t go in. After several failed attempts, he gave up.

Around 10 p.m., we went to Nagoya City University Hospital. There, the doctor successfully inserted a catheter into my urethra and drained the urine. About 1,200 cc (enough to fill a large PET bottle) came out. The urgent need to urinate disappeared, and I felt wonderfully relieved.

My wife drove us home, arriving around 11:40 p.m.

I slept with the catheter still in place, but around 3 a.m. I noticed my underwear was sticky. When I checked, my underwear, pajamas, blanket, and sheet were all soaked with blood—bloody urine. I threw away the bloodstained underwear and pajamas and changed clothes.

The next morning, I washed the blanket and sheet that had blood on them.

 

On November 23 (Sunday), around 9:30 a.m., I had a check-up at Nagoya City University Hospital. They performed bladder irrigation, gave me hemostatic medication.  

I have been living my life with the catheter in place. That is most inconvenient. I always have to hold a long tube that comes out of my urethra to the catheter.

I had another check-up at Seirei Hospital on November 28 (Friday), 9:15 a.m. The catheter was not removed; it will be taken out on December 1.

 

観光バスの衝突 Sightseeing Bus Collision

 昨日（１１月１０日）富士五湖廻りの途中、本栖湖でバスがバックして停車する時、後部バンパーが、駐車中の乗用車の側面に当たり、凹んでしまった。

添乗員と運転手と、乗用車の運転手が損傷箇所の傍で話し始めた。（私はバスの窓側に座っており、彼らの遣り取りが見えた）添乗員は会社に電話をしているようであった。

添乗員は乗客に謝り、「会社の指示は、警察に連絡をとる。代用のバスを回送する」とのこと。運転手も我々観光客に謝った。

困った。本栖湖を予定通りに出発しないと静岡駅発の新幹線に乗れない。乗れなければ、後発の新幹線の自由席に乗ることになる。私は一時間半も新幹線に立ち続けることはできない。

２０分ぐらい経つとパトカーが来た。警官が現場を調べ、写真を撮り、約２０分後に去って行った。

回送バスは来ない……。

添乗員が「会社に警官の調べがあったと連絡したら、そのまま走って良いとのことでした。今から発車します。途中で土産店でのトイレ休憩は飛ばして、静岡駅に直行します。新幹線には、予定通り乗車できます」と言った。

ああ、良かった。

こんな経験は初めてだ。飛行機や電車の事故で、客が待合室やコンコースで座り込んでいる光景を何度も見たが、他人事ではなかった。

Sightseeing Bus Collision

Yesterday (November 10), while touring around the Fuji Five Lakes, our bus was backing up to stop at Lake Motosu when its rear bumper struck the side of a parked car, leaving a dent.

The tour conductor, the bus driver, and the car’s driver began talking near the damaged spot. (I was seated by the bus window and could see their exchange.) The conductor seemed to be calling the company.

After that, the conductor apologized to the passengers, explaining, “The company has instructed me to contact the police. They will send a replacement bus.” The driver also apologized to us tourists.

This was troubling. If we didn’t leave Lake Motosu on schedule, we wouldn’t make our Shinkansen from Shizuoka Station. Missing it would mean boarding a later train in the unreserved section. I cannot stand for an hour and a half on the Shinkansen.

After about twenty minutes, a police car arrived. The officers inspected the scene, took photos, and left about twenty minutes later.

But the replacement bus never came…

Then the conductor announced, “After reporting the police inspection to the company, they told us we can continue as we are. We’ll depart now. We’ll skip the restroom stop at the souvenir shop and go straight to Shizuoka Station. You’ll be able to board the Shinkansen as scheduled.”

Ah, what a relief.

This was my first time experiencing something like this. I’ve often seen passengers stranded in waiting rooms or concourses after plane or train accidents, but now it wasn’t someone else’s problem—it was mine.

なぜ「帰りは怖い」のか Why Is "Returning" Scary?

なぜ「帰りは怖い」のか

童謡に「通りゃんせ」がある。

 

通りゃんせ 通りゃんせ

ここはどこの 細道じゃ

天神様の 細道じゃ

ちっと通して 下しゃんせ

御用のないもの 通しゃせぬ

この子の七つの お祝いに

お札を納めに 参ります

行きはよいよい 帰りはこわい

こわいながらも 通りゃんせ 通りゃんせ

 

最後の行に「帰りはこわい」とある。何故、怖いのか。

Chat GPTによると、答は以下の如くであった。

神社は「あの世」と「この世」の境と考えられていた。「行く」は生（現世）から神域へ入るから、いと易きこと。しかし、お札を納めて、神域を離れ、生現世）へ戻る。神域を離れたから怖い。

 

　Why Is "Returning" Scary?

Go ahead, go ahead
Where does this narrow path lead?
It leads to the Tenjin shrine.
Please let me pass for a moment.
Those without business may not pass.
I’ve come to offer a talisman
For this child’s seventh birthday.
The way there is easy, the way back is scary.
Even so, go ahead, go ahead.

Chat GPT answered this way: 

The return path symbolizes leaving the sacred realm of the gods and returning to the mortal world, and the fear expressed as “scary” reflects the unease and reverence felt when departing from such a divine space.